鹣鲽深情与桎梏

星期三的大雪之前,我去一家修车行为我的老捷达更换雪胎。

由于多数人都知道大雪要来了,所以车行里比平日冷落了不少,只有一位修车师傅和我一个顾客。

修车师傅和我年纪相若,已届“知天命”之龄。人还算健谈,只是脸上隐隐约约有些“悲苦疲累”之相。他一边工作,一边和我闲聊。不知怎么,就聊到了各自的家庭。我问他太太是否也在工作,他声音有点儿暗哑地说他太太因身患绝症,早在十多年前,就已经抛下他和尚在童年的儿子去了。

我听了以后,连忙抱歉地对他说“对不起”,不该惹起人家的伤心事。师傅有点儿勉强地挤出一点儿笑,说没关系。

一时间有点儿冷场。

我贸然地又问一句,哪您又结婚了吗?有个伴儿,生活不就会容易些吗?

还是同样的表情,他说没有空儿去考虑这事。除了常常思念忘妻之外,就是抚养儿子。儿子去年大学毕业后,找到了蛮不错的工作。他现在就期盼儿子成家立业。自己的事儿,就随缘吧。

听他说完这几句话,我不由深深感动,又有一些悲哀。

想想十多年里,他一人既当爹又当娘,苦心孤诣,靠着修车把儿子抚养成人,还要继续努力工作,看着儿子成家立业。似乎把对逝者的所有情份,都化作了要完成她在世时的心愿–让他们的儿子过上好日子。我想他是否觉得这样做了,将来再见妻子时,就能让她开心?何等痴情的一个男人。他和她又曾经是何等恩爱的夫妻!我们所常常赞美,羡叹的鹣鲽情深,也无过与此吧?

可是不知为什么,心中也有些许沉重,悲怜。一个人能有几个“十多年”?这夫妻深情的后面,竟是多年如许的重担。岂不如同桎梏一样,将师傅最盛的年华和人生的欢乐通通给锁了起来?

回家后,我把所听到的告诉了太太。在她感动的时候,我郑重地对她说,如果我在她的前面走了,她一定要再嫁。活在这世上,两个人一起担负生活的担子就已经艰辛异常了,绝对不要自己一个人去硬撑。太苦了,不值得!

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7 Responses to 鹣鲽深情与桎梏

  1. 木钉 says:

    Can you tell me how to read 鹣鲽, Mr. Wuliu?
    Although I don’t know the exact meaning of these two words, I know they must have something to do with birds and fish.

  2. 木钉 says:

    “他现在就期盼儿子成家立业。自己的事儿,就随缘吧。” —— I think he’s right. It seems that he has been living a lonely and tough life, however, he has his son, whom he’s so proud of, as well as his love for his late wife.

  3. frankxue3251 says:

    It seems to me that he lives for his beloved ones only, not himself. And that is what I feel sorry for him. Would it be better if he extends his love to himself too?

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